Challenging my Fears and LIfe Changes

Fears- they are something people encounter daily. They can be as small as being afraid of the monster under your bed, or more serious like being afraid of not having anything to eat for your next meal. No matter how big or small, everyone has them. Fear is always present and there’s no way to avoid it. The world is full of fear; it wanders about freely, creeping into our minds, eating at us until we snap. It loves to stay in our brains and remind us of all the hate in the world. There has not been a day in my life where I have not been afraid of something; it is inevitable to avoid fears. I think that the only thing you can do is embrace them. I have so many fears going into this. For starters I am afraid to travel to another continent without my parents, leave my sister for two weeks, and just be away from home. But these are only the minor ones. I am afraid that after seeing the conditions the children live in and go to school in I will freeze and not be able to help them to my full ability. I am afraid I won't know how to react, so in response, I won't do anything. These have always been my fears and I think they always will be as long as I am a part of CGA. I know that I have been able to overcome them in the past, but I can't say the same for the future: those feelings are almost the hardest part. Since I have been able to confront and conquer my fears on past trips, if I do not succeed this time I will feel like an even bigger failure. I just want to make the children feel like they are worth something. That they are important and their capabilities are limitless. I want to show them that they can do anything with their life and are not held to lower expectations. I knew that I had started the next chapter of my life as I entered high school. New school, new friends, new challenges. But I didn't know that starting high school meant I had ended one. I have been ignoring the fact that I am growing up. I love thinking that I could just be a kid forever with no worries and responsibilities. But that is not the reality; I now have to start thinking about my future, like what college I want to go to and eventually what kind of life I would like to live. I rely so much on people around me for emotional, mental, and physical support. I have amazing bonds with my friends and family, they have helped me grow as a person and helped me through every aspect in life. However, I believe that the next step for me is to break out of my comfort zone and become more independent. I believe that traveling to Tanzania will help me do this. Although I believe that teaching will be a huge challenge for me, I will hopefully learn to problem solve on my own with little help from peers, teachers, or chaperones. I know it is important to have special people who are with you every step of the way, but I want to start becoming my own hero, to strive to be better than the best me, to become more confident, and initially be an independent person so that I can truly live my own life and be completely happy. The fundraising deadline is a little more than a month and although I have about $1,200 left I have a plan that will help me reach my goal. On April 16 I will host a yoga fundraiser at Yoga Off Broadway in Eagle from 4:30-6:30pm. In addition to an hour long yoga class, there will be a silent auction, homemade salad dressing and a few other homemade items for sale. This will be a donation based event, suggested donation is $20. My goal for this fundraiser is about $700. I will also have a garage sale on Saturday April 23, and I hope to make $200 from that. This weekend or next weekend I will have a bake sale for the Vail ski instructors, and finally I am receiving $200-300 more in donations. I will also do some more babysitting, this should help me reach my goal by the deadline. I have worked incredibly hard these last few months and am becoming more and more prepared for this journey. The trip is quickly approaching and I could not be more excited to depart on this incredible adventure!